To my past shrinks you are really shrunk no more do you suppres, sedate and keep me sectioned in myself just as well as on a unit.
I am not a diagnosis or a label, nor a patient or a service user or user of services you in hindsight u was a user of me you used my hurt, my pain, my trauma, my loss I was your wet dream you should have allowed me to embrace and engage with my anger n release that locked in pain. Seen that fuzzies was my instincts try tell me something feel right not a licence feed me more meds. Self Harm did you ever really understand the reasons behind n I wouldnt call it that for a time some elements of would strangely say self care my outlet release the damaged part of me. Sadness, upset, pain, darkness, fear, scared, trapped in a waking nightmare of responding to emotional pain was not distress or depression but response to feeling damaged inside did you ever learn and understand that about me. Did you ever realise psychosis was actually a response to me try protect me from feel more pain and not a new think to add to my prescription. Did you ever see I was a frightened young girl trapped trying heal the worn down n broken shell n couldnt break as too be fragile would mean be vulnerable a resilience I fight to protect as too be vulnerable is too be exposed n been exposed led to my pain n so I resilliantly protected that I don’t think you saw that you saw non compliant You took away a big chunk of me made me thing I was chronic and enduring when really it is psychiatry in itself that is that.
Shrinks I am a someone a person I am someone’s daughter,sister,friend,love n a mum too an angel in the stars I am Katie a human I love, hurt,laugh,cry, passionate, fiery, fight for me n that you nearly took that but I took that someone that somebody and that is I’m Katie Siobhan you should remember that when you meet someone like I once was and that we’re not no diagnosis,label something to be signposted to an pigeon hold in as accordance to the DSM were somebody special n unique were survivors of the experience of life x