Been a shell it did more harm than good a shell is not a good way to protect yourself it made me once lose myself.
It makes me sad when people question “are we victims to our own mental distress” I want to scream and shout and yell”.
I was made a victim my childhood as much tried to find and have a normal one could not because no one sees what goes on behind closed doors so I somehow became a shell to get through it in one piece.
Id Smile pretending everything is okay paint a picture all is great but really stomach in knots as you inside feel that not everything’s quiet ok can’t quiet register it though and work out.
I tried find normal and in a world inside my head a world that when I needed it shut off everything around me and I was safe and content in those moments eventually it became a place had found a place that was safe to lock away the spirit and heart of myself to protect the inner me and so I became a shell.
Becoming a shell i thought allowed me to shut off what happening, get through it a temporary dress up costume like at school but shells they too are ready to crack first crack spoke out what went on behind closed doors was opened. I thought she’ll would crack and out pop me again.
When it was opened It was then I couldn’t find the place I’d locked away the spirit and heart of me the shell I’d became I’d become to protect it I’d become it all to well my fight to find my heart and spirit that made me a victim of a world inside “what is mental distress” losing myself did not trying to crack that she’ll and out pop me that journey of breaking the shell and trying to break labelled me a victim of having “mental distress”.