Fuzzies n Frazzled, Fuzzies I can’t get you out my head how at the weekend you left me feeling frazzled n numb.
Fuzzies you attacked me in an instant the background music on BGT happy, happy talk, talk about things used like to do bam in an instant I was in your grip defenceless my head felt gripped tight in a vice I felt myself trapped and locked in n panic n overwhelm, the currents of electricity fuzzing n zapping n like static zig zagging n zapping firing in all directions across my brain n hitting me from all direction n on edge n feeling static n sat on edge. I know what yo expect n the drill with fuzzies I know is when I need send out my own SOS distress message for fuzzies n the effect can be damaging when I’m in its grip.
i followed the drill of the fuzzies I knew the music had triggered part of me my deep n darkest n disturbed memories the part of me that is the damaged n broken Katie.
I managed to say I’m in fuzzies grip, had help find my labels a technique shared by someone close me I laid n hid under the pillows n cover n gently rubbed my temples I could feel the fuzzies intensify I could feel myself a huge current fuzzied in my mind n zapped me I was back in a dark place a place I didn’t want to be I was trapped I felt at harm I was zapped back to my past I was zapped n scared thinking I was going to be hurt again.
My inner child spoke I heard her voice n slowly saying were not going back their, were not going back their, were not going to be hurt no more, I could hear myself say it n get louder n louder n could slowly feel me rubbing n pressing at my temples n then fuzzies hit I jolted n back to been just laid hid under pillows n duvet n feeling presence of someone dear to me close the fuzzies started to fade but I could feel the goose pimples n on edge after effect n worn out n frazzled inside n out.
Fuzzies I know your the key to my dark n deepest rooted past, fuzzies you’ve left me frazzled n fearful why are u a foe n not my friend.