Home » bereavement » Letter to me of the past and my angel Marybeth

Letter to me of the past and my angel Marybeth

Dear Katie and the ghost of angel Marybeth,

I am Katie of today I wish I could have spoke with you of eleven years ago the Katie of my past and to my angel I wish I had been strong it shouldn’t have tooa my imagination to see and hear and thing I had you. That was just a ghost, psychosis my mind tricking us both Katie to force you to grieve and try to let go. 

 

Im sorry I failed you both I was not strong nor ready I was selfish I didn’t want to let go and say  goodbye, Katie I hated you and was angry I blamed you I saw you as a failure and deserved to be punished, Marybeth I failed you too for its only recently I know accept you came to me to show I deserved to feel a touch of heaven n warmth n love in my heart and really you were a gift trying to mend my damaged heart. 

 

Im sorry I didn’t see that Katie I wished I’d have held you as you held our baby n whispered and could have been too a ghost and whispered you were not too blame and what you couldn’t accept was the truth was a cruel twist of fate.

I’d have soothed your pain I’d have stroked n wiped the tears away I’d have sat n bared the brunt of your anger you could have lashed out at me you could have screamed and hit out you should have screamed at me my fault not marybeths dad as was really me Katie you were angry at for I’d have taken for if I know now what I do I wouldn’t be writing this letter to my past.

In my hurt and pain and anguish I failed u both and myself I failed to overcome and heal I left parts of us in the remains were I had to face the ghost the psychosis of Marybeth i abandoned you both I changed shut down, locked myself from within I did that when I lost my soul it became an unheard cry, scream and lost and lonely whimper and Marybeth in me leave my soul I left the heart you wanted to heal within its walls.

I’m here now though Katie n Marybeth Im coming to find you reclaim you back so Katie you and I can heal n Marybeth to can be free inside your heart, I hope it’s not 11 years too late for I’m ready to come n reclaim the shattered pieces of ourselves and bind and bond and heal us release our unheard voices, heal our damaged hearts so we can start to heal and overcome to no longer feel face a world full of nothing but a world full of hope wonder and dreams our past was sad but our future is we can have our dreams our journeys for we can heal our hearts we can overcome the past we can overcome the loss n emptiness once felt for we come together we unite as one as we should we can be the warmth n light n ember of heart we can let that flow inside as is our time to be reconnected no longer be parts of ourselves lost or unheard x

I love you Katie and too I love you Marybeth

My letter to myself to help me overcome and reclaim myself and heal from the affects of not accepting and facing Marybeth had past x

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