I’ve challenged myself anymore than I ever thought I would I returned to a place that held so much pain I was daunted but remembered highroyds the final nail that broke me but driving up the path seeing the clock close up in my letter Marybeth hope not 11 years too late and the sun was shining and it was the day couldn’t have come soon enough I shared my experiences let them out and the sun was bright like the day was meant to be. I’d freed my soul and after leaving their I did have sensory overload but in wow my mind alert on fire every touch, sound, smell intensified but then that night slept soundly best night ever.
Turning my corner turning over the page to my next chapter x
The day after my old home sold I was contacted by BBC radio Westminster asked about my experiences and spoke about mh stigma an discrimination I answered the why with ask what mh means me n how others perceive. I shared about psychosis and how my experience was me finding ways come to terms my greatest gift but not a loss led to that and that letting go try say goodbye an been supported not admitted but I had psychosis and was not dangerous nor a harm or a reason anyone be afraid but vulnerable as people assume psychosis your crazy an actually not that but for me my mind trying mend the loss in my heart.
My thoughts before Liverpool and speaking at NHS Confederation Event.
Today though I was nervous as speaking at a Nhs confederation event in Liverpool I was speaking as Katie a health champion an what it means to me and how the all together better network saw me as a person, Katie a health champion that broke 1 inequalitie I have faced a diagnosis or label I and others stopped see me as me an faced stigma for, I spoke abt at risk of dying 20 years earlier than anticipated on relation life expectancy but not due condition but inequalities like phys health overshadowed, I linked the network to ele friends and NSUN with saying in relation framework as a member NSUN n mh watch I aim framework is adhered n implemented n framework met n mentioned how volunteering as a mh champion I was able to have a voice, training and can share training so even giving something back I got something my recovery enhanced and support me my journey of oppurtunities, development, education or employment n other activities involved n training adds my recovery much can, share but best thing was I’m supported as Katie n what Katie an bring which is were linked ele friends in too that I’m coached, supported,encouraged, guided an encouraged develop n be all can be. Like I try others n the coined phrase of Baby Steps took off as described mh journey to we’re am n how I champion good health 4 myself through bern my own bf n baby steps. An importance champion own health n tackling health inequalities as a friend n fam n as a young women do and that all need champion health reg it be mh, phys health, phys or learning disability or age or sex or sexuality aas been classified into a category can be an inequalitie initself . The audience plus myself n fellow speakers thing amazed that a person years ago would never dreamed nor dared speak up let alone their n fellow speaker said I should have been up last n closing but when presentation closed n summing up n whilst panel ans questions the phrase baby steps ran out in challenging inequalities baby steps made in looking at prevention n reduce inequalities those baby steps were discused n advocated from an acute health, all together model n national model were advocated.
Today as speaking the fellow speakers you done this before I said some but not this Level or audience they were impressed n I was respected n valued.
I was Katie and my voice heard n valued n the audienced to listened n engaged n their was collaboration n discussion I did that as me Katie not an ex service user.
I once held myself back n my past n mh n services too but today I was none of those as I’d challenged that part of me, reclaimed me n today I was Katie Siobhan. I recently realised though their was part of my past to keep as well as legally started change n remove some parts of past Im soon no longer Kathryn Siobhan Atkinson but soon Katie Ann Siobhan I can’t erase my abuse or loss but can take my abusers name away I too wanted recognise love 4 my mum n Marybeth n included their middle name and soon my next chapter no longer baby steps will be as Katie Ann Siobhan.
I don’t need anyone to assume responsibility or take care or run around me for I’ve overcome so many milestones, challenges, inequalities, abuse, loss I’ve survived that plus me, plus, psychiatry,plus I’m fighting for change too fighting for a better life n world 4 me n I know their are many possible endless dreams as ive turneed the page I’m Katie Ann Siobhan n I can be n do anything I dare to be I no longer need anyone assume care or responsibility I can be the greatest I just need to dare dream n find my hall of fame n I champion me for I am Katie Ann Siobhan x x x