In life you find through out you find and face many scenarios were you are judged, opinions formed critiqued on or face situations were people feel ok over opinions, advice but go to far with that is when becomes a hindrance I can think of many examples in my life but to I can look back on and see where has been damaging and affects off.
When advice or criticism is helpful.
if it is warranted the person has come to you but any adv give has to be constructive not one sided n not always own opinion or personal believe n be used just as a guide so can find my way.
If you are getting me to look back at things you know that are part of me, make up me know their things I identify n associate with n have made differences in my life if need a lil nudge seeing the things you’ve done, overcome, proudest moments looking back on those are amazing n great spurring you on n challenge to do more,
when it is unhelpful a hinderance n becomes a negative feedback loop n either restricts me or restricts any contact I will have you n n then what you saw helpful looped arnd had a negative of what trying to do.
Advice/Criticism becomes unhelpful if not asked for or unwarranted n enforced on me how you do something I may not necessarily do, be aware of or learning n adapting do my way n enforcing something on me has this affect.
I feel under pressure, overwhelmed, my identity n control is being chipped at, taken away n slowly ill either
Start believe whatever do not good enough, believe am doing things wrong n start get stuff wrong ill over analyse, paranoia will intensify ill believe I’m a failure try change myself be person you think I ought to be n then I’ve lost my control, my identity n shattered you’ve fed the part I’ve worked so hard to overcome my past condition becomes my toxic best friend I give up hope, motivation, darkness, sadness, all things make me happy loss interest in n I pot slip back.
If I start to do or think that is happening I will either ignore you, reject you, cut you from my life n too my unborn child’s life as anything thats negative to me Is too negative for them.
I have a good support network I may not always see eye to eye my mum n sisters but they slowly get me and will know what do at certain times why now been remonitored by services to ensure a smooth pregnancy n my overall wellbeing content just as a safe guard though my mum, my next of kin, will ensure certain wishes I have be implemented n upholded n ensures my wellbeing n that of my child.
If I start to see you as someone toxic, unhelpful n having a damaging effect to I lose respect, disengage become disinterested n ill pot snap n for every failing or criticisim or fault feel you have with me when anger erupts n the fight part of me comes out to protect me from crumbling I can become volatile me try be assertive becomes aggressive I erupt n then I too can become toxic to you as I will barrage u with every failing I see you have I will rant n I will wear you down as you will have been doing to me n I hate myself after as I will be being someone I don’t like be a bully but to protect myself I subconsciously do that and so if you have that affect on a person you need look n ask yurselve is it worth offer adv or criticisim n risk been excluded from mine n my child’s life as I don’t want be either those people n so to ring fence that I will cut out that person.
When you constantly offer unwanted adv or opinion you are enforcing your believes you take away the good n joys n excitements people have n hinder n develop learning.
You come across as a bully, patronising n people will avoid you as don’t want be arnd someone who makes them feel small, not good enough n everyone hates people who feel they’re better n assume because of that think they’re better than you as don’t like been arnd people who feel patronised by.
If someone’s done something a mistake don’t say a failure or disappointment or constantly critique n remind off let them learn from amend or change n don’t hold against them if do everyone at some point makes one n not everyone is perfect n in life you don’t need be constantly reminded of those things n held against you.
When your advice is unhelpful n unwarranted n enforced n constant each time see or visit that person what you are pot being is an emotional abuser as when becomes enforcing n constantly having a negative impact you create a negative feedback effect you either isolate me or isolate yourselve n so you will create a negative feedback loop n all loops at sometime get cut or snap n u hurt either others or yourselve as a result.