It’s coming up to 2 years since I will have sadly lost my brother to a preventable suicide in Mental Health Supported Transitional Housing after been allowed to fall through the cracks an not put on any care Pathway by the Mental Health Trust he was under and passed between them and Adult Social Care. I’ve tried fighting for answers challenging the system and asking why, How could they ignore the signs, ignore his pleas were was his Duty of Care. I’ve been dipping in an out of NHS Englands Learning From Deaths work and the team leading they are trying but just like us Families I think they’re up against it too. How do you change an archaic driven system,. Today I was invited to a 1 hour meeting with the department of health and was speaking on 4 areas that need addressing and helping push the guidance through that families put their blood sweat an tears into, my mum an I we too put ours. Today I was focusing on the legal power imbalances families face in fight for answers and the hurdles we have accessing our loved ones records an when u get its only a half story an leaves you with even more questions and thing today I let some of the frustrations feel come out an do normally try hold it together thing seeing my loved ones and loved ones of fellow families made me want demand answers as to us after that meeting we don’t go home forget about, put to bed let something reprioritise it because we have the stark reminder someone is missing, for many it’s their child and they’re robbed of seeing them grow, get married, achieve their dreams an them one day get married an families of own, With Tim I’ve been robbed of my best friend we was like two peas in a pod he was the one who guided me though some of my darkest moments an their at my proudest looking at his photo in that meeting hit me wanted scream you all murdered my brother your systems, processes and pathways are harming not helping in our fight one thing we hear regularly is “failure in breakdowns in communication ” a gp can’t see Paris and record on it the NHS can’t see the gps system one and record and that and the grey area duty of candour is not assisting an a hinderance is the grey area of confidentiality an record sharing or in Tims case not record sharing and when you add local council record keeping an the supported living recording system it’s no wonder tim, us as a family an his navigator was hitting brick walls. Failure in communication is not an acceptable answer to why someone is driven too take their own live, before the meeting I was chatting with my sister on how we feel about Tims death an we want to be angry with him but we understand he wasn’t ok an today I needed let some of that anger an frustration how dare they say computer said no surely that should be something can change. Telling Tims story an where we are at with the inquest process is frustrating we’re gridlocked an at a standstill because we’re going through a judicial review because sadly the coroner is listening to two sides an not the side that matters us that matters the family. If my brother’s death had been in hospital we’d have been granted a Article 2 enquiry automatically if was a NHS run supported living would have done but because Social Care the coroner’s using the grey area death in community. I told them today if we lose the review we lose all legal representation and aid and have to fight for answers alone and that many families met recently had represent themselves an that any requests had were denied and so outcomes didn’t go in their favour they didn’t get their answers and left now fighting that bit more yet the evidence was clear for all to see, I told them I should be grieving my brother but I don’t I’m my families advocate I review, critique try put the jigsaw puzzle together and find the solutions to the failings an that’s not fair it’s left me physically an mentally battered and been offered no support by those who failed him apart from a token book coping with death of a loved one to suicide I don’t want to cope with his death I want him in my life I want to know no other family will feel my pain and it’s hard to gage did they listen, take note will things be done and implemented an changed the people in room today can’t expect us to be patient in our quests, can’t expect us be fobbed off to us they’res too much at stake, we just want openness, truth an accountability we need to grieve to mourn, to try lead lives without those we love as hard as it is it’s not fair be gridlocked no we’re further nor nearer to those answers an solutions because whilst we’re gridlocked we add to the growing number of historical cases my family we’re only short way in and we’ve one long road tred but if today taught me anything the fight will get harder, will break me that bit more but it’s not a fight will walk away from Tim deserved so much more and so did the family’s lost loved ones because I’m not going away harmed patients an families too won’t go away because we broke the day our loved ones died you can’t break us anymore so you might as well help us piece ourselves back together let me grieve an mourn let me free my brother’s memory free not keep having air his broken story give us the truth it’s time he had dignity in death let me dream he’s know free with my daughter in heaven I want to let him go and let him be free my family need free ourselves to off our pain an anger. X x
The fight for answers for Tim got made harder this week on Thursday I met with our solicitor to sign and complete my compiled witness Statement and when got their she informed me article 2 was turned down by the coroner, The local council involved in my brother’s care who had no involvement with us as a family since his death an became persons of interest at this late stage an handed their submissions in late stage have come in an took temporarily control. I ask myself why an how can they do this how can one small loophole have that decision potentially took of the table, what is they are preventing not get out, what is they’re wanting to hide, I’ve asked myself do local councils have some form of power an influence over them an can they control what coroner’s can an can not do. I was hurt an angry and livid inside more so till a plan of action was formulated on how solicitor an barrister could address to not tell my mum, That was hard not telling her as after all were fighting for answers for my brother, her son. It was hard not going to her because I was upset and wanted her tell me all would be ockay and the solicitor was asking me wait so when came up with a plan of action would make it all ok. Losing article 2 means we’ve not lost means we’ve got to fight that bit harder and as a family just wanting answers it’s not fair made to fight to get that because we are not able to mourn, to grieve, inquests are lengthy, drawn out and not easy face an 14 months on it’s still been thought out what kind of inquest will be an what scope an what will be disclosed it’s not fair on families and parties of interest should always be thinking of the families but in our situation I’ve learned they don’t nor make the process easier, I have trust in our solicitor an barrister that what they’re planning to do should get the decision overturned and I’m sorry god I handed it over to you I won’t be this time in my prayers and look what’s happened my family still no were near finding peace, I will however continue have faith in our legal team as they know what they’re doing, they too believe in our families fight for answers if not for them we wouldn’t be at this point we’d, have probably given up let those with the Power an answers win and my brother’s failings. Be swept under the carpet but because we’ve a good Team we’re not well use our upset, our hurt and anger to come out fighting once more an we put that hope an faith in the legal team supporting us do that and the local council may have this round but their is a long way to go and decisions can be changed and hoping that it’s changed again soon. For families in similar situations to mine my heart goes out to you because it is hard an we don’t have anywhere go to, turn to we just have to try best fight on an carry on and it’s not easy but we do because the loved one we lost was a live that mattered something the coroner an other representatives an parties of interest seem to forget.